I wish

I could stop counting time in incriments of how long I've lived without Judy. Two weeks that's how long. Why can't I get over her absence?

She came home today, Don brought her ashes home. Her request was to have them scattered but I still can't let go. This seems so absurbed, I wasn't this affected when mine own brother passed away. Plus the fact that October is Breast Cancer Awareness month has not made getting over Judy any easier.

I have my follow up mammogram on Monday to moniter the lumps in my left breast. Ensure that they haven't increased in mass. I'm sure they haven't and I'll only leave with REALLLLY sore and abused tissue like I did six months ago.

I also wish I have my cell phone back but it's being used as the At Home Phone for the boys. No one ever calls me, so again its rather dumb I miss having it with me. When will this hurting and loniness pass.